Hello everyone. Yes, I’m back. And judging from the time that I’m posting this entry, you can imagine how early I slept when I got home yesterday. 8:30pm to be exact. I can safely say the jet lag is no longer an issue.

So after Prague (and yes, Dia – it was a detour to Prague but it was because we wanted to show the students the difference in development after WWII) we headed straight to Berlin, the main attraction of our trip. It was completely surreal seeing the remains of the Berlin Wall, walking through the Brandenburg Gate, going into the Reichstag, crossing Checkpoint Charlie, and visiting Humboldt University, where I felt completely mocked as I walked past the portraits of all their Nobel Laureate Winners (including one Albert Einstein). We also visited a few rather notorious sites, including Hitler’s burial grounds which is now a car park, and the hotel where Michael Jackson (RIP) dangled his kid from the balcony. And as though all that wasn’t already enough, the city also “gifted” us with a naked woman, who walked calmly through the park beside the Berliner Dom and Altes Museum and right past our bus. Naturally, everyone (especially the boys) was very excited and stole as many pictures as their fingers could click.

We visited a couple of museums where we could experience the life of Berliners during the GDR at the DDR Museum, and the Jewish Museum. The DDR Museum was extremely charming and interactive, and the Jewish Museum was particularly interesting. I was quite upset that we couldn’t spend more time wandering around. I would’ve loved to learn more about the life of Jews in Berlin, and how they overcame the challenges faced due to the War. There was also a special exhibition about the Jewish Dimension of Comic Art, which I knew Nessa & Dia would approve of and appreciate. From Berlin, we also went down to Potsdam (where we drove past a former KGB prison!) and dropped by Sanssouci Park and the Cecilienhof Palace, where the Potsdam Conference was held.

We had a couple of very good guides in Berlin. I’m a real sucker for Brit humour and two of the Walking Tour guides that we had (Barnaby and Nigel from Insider Tours) were extremely engaging and witty. The students were very enamoured by them and we always found them rushing to stay in front of the pack and close to the guides, rather than their usual habit of trailing behind. It kinda got me thinking that personality really counts when one’s trying to teach. I just hope I have enough of it.

I definitely need to go back to Berlin (and Germany). There was just not enough time for me to see everything in detail and enjoy the full offerings of the sights. And now that I have greater knowledge of the history of the country, I feel that I’ll be able to appreciate its culture and beauty even more.

Pictures coming soon!

Anyway, we’re in Prague now, after a night’s stay in Dresden. Just to get everyone up to speed, we’ve visited the Dachau Concentration Camp, the BMW Museum, the Nuremberg Documentation Centre, and did a walking tour of Dresden. All in all, we’ve had a pretty damn good time.

Being someone who has no personal experience with any of the World Wars (or any war for that matter, thank God!) I honestly didn’t think I’d be affected by the visit to the Dachau Concentration Camp. But right after walking through the gates and looking at that cold, barren courtyard, I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with grief. Overwhelmed with sympathy. Overwhelmed with inner cries of injustice. I simply could not fathom how mankind was able to allow such atrocity to happen. Were people that consumed by hatred? Hatred that, from all angles, didn’t seem justifiable at all?

After experiencing something as chilling as the Concentration Camp, we were brought to the BMW museum where we learnt about the history of BMW and saw many proud moments being exhibited in the museum. The students had a lot of fun roaming around the clinical-looking museum and ogling the cars on display. I personally think they were just happy to get away from us and do something non-WWII related.

Day 3. We headed to Nuremberg and Dresden after we left Munich. Nuremberg was a great learning experience for us all as we visited the Nuremberg Documentation Centre, saw the site of the Nazi Party Rally Grounds, and learnt more about the Nuremberg trials. At this point, allow me to say that I love my students. I was extremely heartened to see them having as much fun as they did learning about this important piece of history, even though it wasn’t exactly a relaxed day. Travelling from Munich to Dresden via Nuremberg was slightly demanding as we were on the road A LOT. All of us were really impressed with their tenacity and lack of complaints.

Day 4. Today. We finally got a more relaxed (and not to mention, touristy) schedule as we took a walking tour of Dresden (which is super gorgeous by the way!) and found some time to shop at the local mall, before heading to Prague, but also not without stopping at another local mall (this time, in Prague) before dinner. So yes, that meant a whole lot of retail therapy for all of us. :p Me? I’m most happy that I’m back in Prague. Gorgeous, gorgeous, Prague. Can’t wait to go on the walking tour tomorrow.

So that’s it for me for now. We’ll be heading out to Berlin tomorrow afternoon and I’m praying that we’ll continue to have perfect weather and the students will continue to be wonderful. Will post again soon!

My impressions of Munich (and Germany) so far? I like that it’s clean and orderly, like Singapore, yet it has enough European culture and flavour to keep me enticed. However, I’m not exactly in awe of Germany yet. Unlike Prague (can’t wait to go back there in a couple of days!), Amsterdam, Paris and London, my first foray into each of these amazing cities have left me yearning for more. Perhaps it’s because I now have 20 students to help “shepherd”. It truly is tough to enjoy myself and really soak in the atmosphere when I have to constantly worry about losing one of the kids. Also, because I did zero research prior to my arrival, I feel extremely lost wandering round the city, not knowing what to expect. And if you know me, you’ll know that this is completely out of character and I absolutely hate this feeling. Nonetheless, I did my best to appreciate every little bit of art, architecture and history that came my way. One thing for sure, I’ll need to come back so I can do this country justice.

I kinda feel like I’m cheating on Germany.

You see, I love planning for trips and doing all the research, and I can get all the admin stuff tied up without any whining. But it is completely different when it’s a matter of work and you have to be accountable to plenty of neurotic folks who insist you plan for the worst. Not that it’s bad or anything, but it’s unnerving and it makes me think of too many worst-case scenarios than I’m legally comfortable with. Scenarios so unlikely that I’m surprised they didn’t ask us to plan in the event of a plane crash. Or what if we encounter an accident on the Autobahn? Or get collective food poisoning? Now why aren’t we planning for those? Can you tell I’m irritated?

I hate having such feelings. I should be looking forward to learning and appreciating the history and culture of the place, but because everything leading up to the day of our departure has been such a chore, I’m not sure if I can give Germany its due. I know I’ll go back one day and really see it the way it intends for me to, but I’m upset that it will now be associated with all the crazy paperwork that my colleagues and I were made to do. And we all know that’s not a good first memory of a place.

So please forgive me, Germany. I promise I’ll do my best to not let my own “baggage” get in the way of our relationship.

Yeah, the finger can’t stop pointing.

This rant could go on forever, but it’s late and I really need to catch up on all the sleep that I was deprived of when I had that crazy intensive period. So I’m going to end this rather prematurely and end with this: I just wish I had more guts to express myself in such a manner to the bosses.

Funny though, because I did weep. You see, the stress of grading that many examination scripts was insurmountable and so, on the last day of this marking extravaganza (that is, today), I broke down and became this emotional pile of mess. I’d experienced a migraine, several headaches, felt bitchy about colleagues who had smaller marking loads, went many nights without sufficient sleep, had no appetite to eat and was basically at the point of exhaustion. I wanted to lay in bed more than anything and distance myself far, far away from everything work-related. But I had to finish grading the last lot of essays. So I begrudgingly worked my red pen through the answers and then right when Glee’s True Colours came on my iPod, the tears flowed.

You with the sad eyes
Don’t be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you fell so small

Ayyy… damn you, song! For making me cry! But there I was, at the lowest of low, feeling so mentally drained and emotionally charged. I really needed to scream. But Lean On Me comes on next, and reminded me of how I simply needed to continue leaning on God for the strength I needed to see through this last stretch. Of course, more tears were induced because I was that messed up at that point of time.

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who was capable of handling stress pretty well. After all, my previous profession as an Events Organiser opened me to many high-pressured situations, and I’d never gotten emotional. Who knew marking exam scripts would break me down like that? I can only hope that next semester will be better, especially since there’ll be new teachers joining my department. We’re really short-handed as it is, and I honestly don’t know if I can handle such an insane marking load again in the final semester.

Now that it is all said and done, I could say I’ve emerged like a phoenix from the ashes, but I won’t cos that might be a little over-the-top? So excuse me while I go celebrate with some cake.

Oh, and might I add, tug-of-war is officially the funnest sport/game ever. It’s something I look forward to each year and I was completely bitter when I wasn’t able to participate last year, no thanks to my official duty as an emcee. This year, I made sure I didn’t miss out, so as soon as I saw that my emcee booth was well-manned by the students and my partner, I skipped down to the field to help pull my House to victory. Of course, I’d like to think that my being there helped us to win but truth is, we’ve won for 3 years running. So yeah, we may not always win the overall champion trophy, but this one is gonna be ours to own, for a long, long time.

Funny how I don’t remember enjoying Sports Day as much when I was a student.

A. Give a sheepish smile
B. Just walk past the person without any acknowledgement
C. Raise an eyebrow/wink
D. Groan “I’m tired”
E. Say a quick “Hey” or “Hello”
F. Something else

I don’t know about you, but this moment never fails to seem awkward to me. See, if it was someone you’re real chummy with, you could always whine/gossip, but I really don’t know how to react to people whom I only speak to in passing. And if you pass by this same person more than once, are you just gonna keep saying “Hey”? Am I the only person who’s bugged by this?

Last year, I blogged about going to Germany with some students as part of a Humanities Learning Journey. Then, H1N1 came along and ruined all our plans. Unfortunately, most of the kids whom we selected to go last year can’t come along with us this year (they’re graduating, and the school believes it will disrupt their final-year studies) so as we went about woefully breaking about 16 teenage hearts, we also had to select a new group of 15-year-olds to come along with us.

The kids we interviewed this year brought something really different to the mix. They were confident, articulate and somewhat worldly of sorts. Some were real standouts and we honestly couldn’t stop marvelling at their responses during our interview. And I have taught/am teaching most of these kids; I never knew they had such wit in them! Teens. I guess we should never pigeonhole them, huh? Anyway, we’re going through the last stage of the selection process now, and I must admit that it’s slightly more difficult selecting the participants this year, mostly because we have a smaller pool to choose from. Apparently, we didn’t have enough sign-ups cos many felt that 9 days was too short a time for them to fully enjoy Germany. Perhaps we didn’t quite emphasise enough that it’s a LEARNING trip?

Students aside, we’ve more or less gotten our itinerary finalised. As it’s a Humanities trip, the main focus will be on the rise and fall of Hitler. We’ll be flying into Munich for a guided City Tour and the Third Reich walking tour, then we’ll head up to Dachau to visit the Concentration Camp and possibly a tour of the BMW Museum. Following that, we’ll stop by Nuremberg, and take a side trip to Prague (yay!) so students can see the developmental difference between new Europe (Germany) and old Europe (Czech Republic). Then it’s off to Dresden, I think so we can visit the VW factory? I’m not quite sure about this, but I’m guessing we won’t be visiting two automobile makers in one trip. It’s probably one or the other. Anyway. Berlin is our last stop and that’s where we’ll get to visit famous landmarks such as Checkpoint Charlie, the Brandenburg Gate, the Reichstag, and a Jewish Memorial.

Blame it on the fact that I love planning itineraries, I feel somewhat invalidated about leaving all the work to the agent. I’m sure they’ll do a much better job (they are the professionals after all) but I’m just not completely comfortable with the idea that I don’t have to do any research of my own this time round. I mean, it’s Europe! For every time my friends and I have been there, we’ve always done heaps of research that I’ve actually come to love the whole process. Besides, it’s extremely satisfying being able to navigate the streets of Europe entirely by ourselves, and asking locals for directions. Now, I’ll simply be one of those people, travelling in a pack. *pouts* Well, I do have students to account for now…

I’ll definitely wanna go back to Germany with my friends. While I know I’ll never get to learn about the history of a place quite like this, I still prefer immersing myself into the culture of a city with my girls. There’s just nothing like travelling with your closest friends and enjoying the sights that are of real interest to us. And quite unabashedly, I’m a teeny bit upset I won’t be able to sample any German beer with students around me 24/7! ;p

I marvel at those who seem to have it all figured out. People who have more administrative duties, have a family and still manage to stay on top of things. I would love to observe them for a whole day and pick up some of the strategies they’ve employed that has helped them achieve everything. Not surprisingly, the word ‘sacrifice’ immediately comes to mind. But exactly how much have they been sacrificing? Because I know for sure that I’m not willing to sacrifice “me-time”; times such as these where I can reflect, recharge and recuperate after a long day. After all, it’s one of the factors that has kept me sane thus far.

The other factor being God, of course. It’s my dependence on Him that has kept me going, kept me breathing. But even so, I often find myself leaning on my own strength, and asking God to just hang around so He can catch me when I fall. But y’know, I don’t want to make God stand behind me. I want Him right there beside me, holding my hand, carrying me. That’s His rightful place in my life and I want to honour that. I just hope I’ll always remember it.

In the meantime, excuse me while I go scream into my pillow.