The big game of the season is starting in less than 30 minutes, and I’m all decked out in my jersey and even got my scarf beside me. It’s not much, but it’s as much support as I can show from where I am, thousands of miles from Anfield.

My lads have had a crappy start this season. It’s gotten me frustrated, annoyed, and almost resigned to the fact that we’d probably end up 3rd in the league, at the very best. I’ve even joked about swearing off football altogether and focusing on rugby instead. Alas, I know I won’t be able to tear myself away from Liverpool. It is my club. My one true love. No matter how badly they play, and no matter what position they end up in, I know my support for them will never cease. And that’s just what I love about sports. It gives you an indescribable sense of loyalty, one that comes from a pride that only sports fans can understand. And it’s all perfectly summed up in Liverpool’s awesome motto – You’ll Never Walk Alone.

So we have not won the title in many years. And we won’t win the title this season, or maybe even the next. But I know that we will, eventually. And when my captain lifts that silverware, that moment is going to be so freakin’ sweet.

So mioTV won the rights to televising English Premier League games, and I believe I’m not alone in saying that we, the sports fans of Singapore, are not happy.

First off, I don’t understand the need to have 2 pay TV providers. In a country where their combined market share isn’t even near 800,000 subscribers, was it really necessary to give us such options? I’m baffled. Perhaps I’m too ignorant to comprehend the economics of it all. The only thing that is clear to me right now is that many, many subscribers are going to have to work out the painful math of sustaining their interests, and still keep their budget for pay TV low.

Already, when StarHub revised their price plans earlier this year, my family and I spent hours contemplating all the options available to us. It was a complete hassle having to work something within our budget, and still be subscribed to enough packages that would please the different viewing tastes of the entire family. The process wasn’t pleasant (some sacrifices were made), but at least all our options were still restricted to that one company. Now that the entire sports platform has moved to a different company, not only do we have to contend with the fact that there will most likely be two pay TV services being run in the house, I foresee having to go through many hours of discussions, re-budgeting and what not all over again.

Why these two pay TV companies are offering completely different channels is beyond me. A quick look at FoxTel and Austar (since I’m most familiar with Australia’s pay TV) shows that both companies have common channels and offer similar packages. Some packages appear more competitive than the other, and I believe the technology is different(?) but otherwise, both offer enough options for any consumer to be happy. Our case? Because certain channels are exclusive to each company, many will pretty much end up subscribing to BOTH companies. So guess who has the last laugh? Yes, the state-owned company who is currently controlling both companies.

I would like to be able to declare my boycott of this new offering, and my being strong enough to forgo watching sports at home, instead heading down to a nearby cafe / coffee shop to get my regular dosage of EPL action. Alas, I know convenience will prevail and I’ll just cave and end up paying more for my TV. I think we all know who the real losers are.

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I wish I could just hide in a corner and make everything go away. I wonder if it’s because the system simply tends to overload, or if it’s because I’m incapable of handling it. And the fact that I used to be an events coordinator, where multi-tasking was at the very core of the occupation, doesn’t help one bit. It gives me the false sense of belief that I, of all people, should be able to handle juggling that many things on my plate. Apparently, that hasn’t quite prepared me for this.

I marvel at those who seem to have it all figured out. People who have more administrative duties, have a family and still manage to stay on top of things. I would love to observe them for a whole day and pick up some of the strategies they’ve employed that has helped them achieve everything. Not surprisingly, the word ’sacrifice’ immediately comes to mind. But exactly how much have they been sacrificing? Because I know for sure that I’m not willing to sacrifice “me-time”; times such as these where I can reflect, recharge and recuperate after a long day. After all, it’s one of the factors that has kept me sane thus far.

The other factor being God, of course. It’s my dependence on Him that has kept me going, kept me breathing. But even so, I often find myself leaning on my own strength, and asking God to just hang around so He can catch me when I fall. But y’know, I don’t want to make God stand behind me. I want Him right there beside me, holding my hand, carrying me. That’s His rightful place in my life and I want to honour that. I just hope I’ll always remember it.

In the meantime, excuse me while I go scream into my pillow.

Apparently, I get a bit peculiar when I’m sick. It’s almost as though the blocked nose has prevented oxygen from entering the brain, thus resulting in random bursts of oddities that can only be described as The Crazy. Colleagues, friends and family would look on and bemuse, as they witness a grown woman slowly being reduced to an inexplicable weirdo complete with incoherent speech patterns and a series of grunts.

*snort*

If you ask me, I think the strange behaviour has always been part of me. In reality, it’s my sanity and desire to stay socially acceptable that has suppressed the real self from manifesting. After all, it’s hard work having to be so proper every single day, being mindful of others around me, and making sure no one feels uncomfortable. So I’m guessing the true self emerges when I’m sick because I can no longer be bothered to hold back The Crazy within. I mean, I’m already gonna be a disgusting mess, what with mucus running from my nose, and sounding all mannish and nasally, so who’s gonna raise another eyebrow if I get all weird?

Huh. Now I’m wondering if I even have a point to make. *ponders*

Guess not.

I promise my next post will be more meaningful.

Today is another one of those Saturdays with back-to-back appointments. And because I have nothing in my wardrobe that can take me from super casual, to smart, to active, I have to come home in between appointments to change. I can’t bring all my outfits along, cos I don’t have anappropriate bag that can fit all the shoes. I know. Sucks to be a girl, huh?

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. I’m not breaking any REAL laws just because I’m under/over-dressed. Sure, being inappropriately dressed may be frowned upon in some situations, but really, who am I hurting here? Some fashionista’s eyes? Alas, I’m not revolutionary enough to rebel against these social norms, so I’ll simply continue to chalk up the unnecessary cab rides and watch resignedly as that bank balance decreases.