A conversation with a friend earlier today reminded me how much planning God has put in when He decided to create us. Make no mistake, God loves us enough to let us make our own decisions. However, there are certain moments where it becomes so clear that if it’s part of His plan, nothing else can go against it. Everything will be so perfectly aligned and it will turn out to be even better than what we can possibly imagine.

Day 2: You Are Not An Accident

This is my third time reading this chapter and it never fails to amaze me that God has put so much thought into designing the person that I am. From my general appearance, to my character – everything has already been determined by God. And because He has customised me in such a unique way, I can’t help but feel loved. Which is perfect, really, because when you know that you are a carefully crafted product of God, rather than some random accident, it just makes life that much more meaningful.

That said, I frequently find myself not reciprocating God’s love. Too often have I neglected to read His word, or listen to His voice, or even attend a Bible Study session simply because I was “too tired”. Each time, I’d be ashamed of my behaviour, yet, I always tell myself that it’s okay, cos God will forgive me. Am I taking God for granted? I think so.

I am overwhelmed by His love and I really want to develop a closer relationship with God. I know it’s not gonna be easy, but I also know that each time I struggle, I am one step closer to shaping myself to be more like Him.

I never got to finish reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I’ve tried it twice and both times, I didn’t last more than a week. So today I’m gonna commit myself to re-reading the book and this time, I will finish it. I’m not gonna allow myself to have any doubts because I’ve decided that I’ll trust God to keep me going. I believe that’s the only way for me to complete the book.

Over the next 40 days, I’ll post my reflections here, so you can also keep track of my progress and nudge me, should I seem to fall behind.

Day 1: It All Starts With God

Warren mentioned a good point about the world’s obsession with self-help books: the solutions are predictable and focus entirely on oneself. I guess that’s why they’re called SELF-help. But that’s not how the world works, is it? After all, we are constantly interacting with others, and we all know that it’ll be completely self-destructing if we allow ourselves to work in silos. So why then are we reading books to better help ourselves? Shouldn’t the focus be on how we can help others? At the end of the day, we need to realise it’s not about us. And God certainly didn’t create us for that.

For the longest time, I’ve had no doubt that God has a greater purpose for me. In fact, I’ve never  been one to question the meaning of life, because Sunday School has always taught me that my life’s purpose is to honour the Lord and really, it makes sense. Sure, many would ask “what about finding happiness?” and there was a time when I used to think that was extremely important. Then I realised that the only reason why I’m even able to find joy in situations are because God has allowed them to happen. That’s when it hit me that God is indisputably much bigger than the concept of “happiness”.

However, as much as I have these fundamental principles deep within me, I constantly struggle to submit to God in all aspects of my life. I’ll admit now that I don’t always turn to God whenever I’m faced with a problem. I’ll try my darndest to come up with the best solutions, only to have it kick me in the butt, because something will always fall short. Only then, do I ask God to take full control, and because He always picks up the pieces, I find myself repeating the whole process. I know I’m being complacent, yet I always find it difficult to relinquish control and trust that His plans are far better than mine. My pride is that obstinate.

Today, I’m reminded that everything starts with God:

For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rules or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him – Colossians 1:16

It’s no easy task to battle my carnal self, but with God, I know that I will be a better servant and fulfill the purposes that He has for me.

Ahh… Friday nights. The perfect time to unwind: head out to town with some friends, enjoy good food, and laugh the night away. Not for this girl. I’m perfectly happy to go home, take a long shower and watch a good movie. Perhaps I’ve outgrown all that “partying”. Or perhaps I’m just too exhausted from the weeks’ work to do anything else. Regardless, I’m perfectly content staying in.

Although, today being the last day of the school semester, my friends believe it’s imperative that we celebrate the occasion. After all, we survived five tumultuous months and we’ve managed to stay sane the whole time. Sure, we fell terribly ill along the way, lost plenty of sleep, and sacrificed our social lives… still, we came out of the fires unscathed. We all agreed that was some achievement so it calls for some major partying. Alas, today was one of those long days where we had a workshop and a school function back-to-back, and with the heat and humidity rising, many of us just wanted to veg out at home. Besides, let’s be practical. Partying requires energy, which we barely have. So I’m rationalising that we need to recuperate first, then we’ll be able to fully honour the true meaning of the word, and not make it a half-assed attempt. Agreed?

Now excuse me while I go prop my feet up.