My cousin’s friend shared with us this incredibly precious exchange between her five-year-old son and herself:

Her: They’re celebrating the Queen’s birthday (in Australia)…

Son: You mean, like, we will we will rock you?

Apparently, kid knows about Queen because the childcare centre he is at occasionally plays We Will Rock You just before nap time.

I AM SENDING MY FUTURE KIDS THERE.

. . . . .

Song of the Day

Seasons Of Love, by Rent

What’s a girl to do on Labour Day in good ol’ Singapore? Indulge in a fantastic movie and savour some food, of course.

The buddy and I started the day with lunch at my favourite cafe.

We then proceeded for my second viewing of the Avengers, which was just as entertaining, and now I feel as though I need to watch it at least once a week. I AM NOT KIDDING.

Dinner at Equinox was not bad, but not inspiring. Thankfully, we had a great view of the Singapore skyline to distract our tastebuds.

Some unexciting bread to kick things off:

Amuse bouche was some tomato thingy. The buddy will know what it’s called.

My Lobster Bisque with Fennel, Dill and Linguine Ribbons:

Grilled White Asparagus with Mousseline and Crushed Hazelnuts:

Pork Tenderloin with White Asparagus, Spring Onion Tart and Sage Butter Sauce:

Because there’s always room for dessert, the buddy ordered Pineapple Carpaccio with Lime, Chilli Syrup and Coconut Sorbet:

I ordered the Madagascar Vanilla Mousse with Caramelised Apple Jelly and Sweet Brioche.

Some petits fours to end things off:

Like I said, great view to distract our palette.

. . . . .

Song of the Day

Set Fire To The Rain, by Adele

So we all know I’m turning 30 this year. Guess who’s still a woman-child who delights in toys?

No. Not THAT kind. Get your dirty mind out of the gutter!

But seriously, I found more pleasure shopping at Toys R Us today, rather than at the department store. In my defense, none of the clothes were “speaking” to me. Some stood out, but I couldn’t bring myself to buy yet another so-so top (though I wouldn’t mind updating my wardrobe). And the shoes all looked one and the same. Shocking? I know!

Anyway, after a lovely wander around Toys R Us with an old chum and her highly adorable and hilarious kids, I walked away with this:

That’s $113 worth of toys. Only possible because I earn my own keep now. Heh.

Wanna play? :D

. . . . .

Song of the Day, because it’s so darn beautiful.

Mercy, by Dave Matthews

I actually didn’t want to write this post. Mostly because I didn’t want to remind myself about the time in my life where I officially declared myself to be “depressed”. But I got out of it, by the grace of God, and after chatting with a friend today, I figured this needed to be shared. So you know that you’re not alone.

To many, my problem appears miniscule compared to people struggling with survival, strained relationships or any type of abuse. Nonetheless, it was a struggle. My struggle. An inner battle even, and I took a long time to get out of it. Actually, I still contend with it, but I’m handling it.

I never thought I’d ever reach that stage where I’d get so jaded, so incredibly put off by work that I would dig myself a great big crater and wallow in weeks of self-pity. Yes, weeks. Everything about work was miserable. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t believe in anything that I was doing. And the worst part was, I just kept digging and refused to get out. I was convinced that Escape was my only solution. I was incredibly tempted to just drop everything and leave. I was tired of constantly caring for so many students and being so responsible for their grades. It didn’t help that so many of them always switched off during lessons. I was starting to believe that I had failed as a teacher.

I was at such a low point that I had a complete meltdown at work last Tuesday. It was the smallest of triggers, yet it caused me so much anguish that crying was my only option. Yet, I didn’t cry. Because the rational part of me told myself that work needed to be done immediately, so I had to put off crying until a more convenient time.

I didn’t cry in the end. That moment was lost. Later, when a friend asked how I was, without thinking, I blurted out “I’m depressed”. It was my first time admitting I had a problem and that I needed help. Saying it out loud made me realise how badly I wanted to get out of it.

That night, I kneeled at my bed for the first time in many years.

Throughout my years as a Christian, I never quite saw the need to kneel. I figured my prayer would be heard whether I was sitting, standing or even lying in bed. I didn’t know that kneeling would allow me to experience such vulnerability that the only proper thing left to do was to really humble myself before the Lord and submit to Him.

That night, I said the most heartfelt prayer I’ve said in years.

God works this way: When you’re at your lowest, He swoops in, picks you up, and gives you the warmest embrace, because He is so happy to see that you’ve fully surrendered your problems to Him and are finally willing to let Him do His job. Needless to say, I experienced a peace like no other as soon as I said “Amen”. My Lord’s comfort was that instantaneous.

It was a complete turnaround the next few days. Rather than focusing on the issues, I started focusing on His grace. My eyes were no longer fixed on pleasing my students. I was now only concerned about making sure my Lord would be proud of me.

About a week on, I’m proud to announce that I no longer feel depressed. I still struggle, but I am not miserable. My spirits have lifted and I’m able to find joy again. And there is now a certain peace within me that can only be attributed to the grace of God.

I don’t believe that our problems are ever too small. Writing them off as insignificant makes your life seem trivial. They are problems because we have difficulties handling them. So go ahead and acknowledge your problem today. Then feel free to pray. God is waiting to hear your voice.

I did it. I submitted my volunteering application to Love Without Boundaries.

It was a no-brainer, really. However, I refused to submit my application without first sleeping on it. You see, I understood that volunteering on a regular basis was a serious commitment (even though I checked the box that said I could only commit 6-10 hours online per week…), and that I really needed to think this carefully. While I was praying about this last night, the issue of Time and Commitment kept creeping into my mind, yet each time I appended my thoughts with a “but…”, I felt a little tug in my heart. God was clearly telling me that I needed to stop making excuses, because those 6-10 hours would be much better spent doing something worthwhile, instead of aimlessly surfing the Internet.

So, yes, I have taken that very tiny but significant leap into volunteerism. And I am all kinds of excited. :)

. . . . .

Song of the Day

For The Moments I Feel Faint, by Relient K

Seeing this picture of babies in a crib with a wooden plank for a mattress is heartbreaking, to say the least.

What’s worse was I immediately knew there were other babies living in much harsher conditions. :(

One of my favourite bloggers, Ashley Ann, has recently appealed to her readers to help out the orphanage that she’s adopting a baby from. While I have no doubt that her own readers are more than capable of meeting her goal of $1,400, I really would like to appeal to you too, to consider helping out this wonderful organisation.

Love Without Boundaries is a non-profit organisation run almost entirely by volunteers dedicated to improving the lives of orphaned and impoverished children in China. I am completely in love with the hope it represents and I am presently praying about signing myself up as a volunteer to help out online.

I’ve always wanted to volunteer but have never quite set aside time to go out to actually do it. I’ve only volunteered once, or twice at most, out of my own accord. The rest have been Community Involvement Projects with the school either as a student, or as a teacher. However, those always seemed more like an obligation, and even now when I’m older, because I’m looking out for my students half the time, making sure they’re not fooling around or saying anything insensitive. Needless to say, it was only during that time when my buddy, her colleague and I volunteered at the Singapore Children’s Society, that I truly experienced the joy of volunteering.

If you could spare some time, I appeal to you to have a look at the organisation’s website and either donate, or consider volunteering too. It really doesn’t take much for us to help make these kids’ lives better. :)

. . . . .

Song of the Day

Legacy, by Nichole Nordeman

I go back to work tomorrow after a two-day medical leave and there is a huge lack of motivation to prepare for lessons. Thank goodness I have a stash of worksheets and other resources that I can easily tap into… Still, it’s worrying. Already, the fact that I’ve fallen sick about once a month since the start of the year has gotten me wondering if I have a psychological problem with work. You know how it is. When the brain is full of pessimism, negative signals are sent out and before you know it, everything about work becomes a chore. Then, when there’s enough despondency, my immunity system lowers, letting me fall prey to all these viruses that are suddenly more prevalent than usual. It doesn’t help that schools are gigantic germ forests.

I’ve prayed for God to let me continue embracing His plans for me, and for me to start focusing on His work, instead of mine; to focus on counting His blessings, instead of counting down to the end of this scholastic year…

Alas, it has not been easy.

Some days make sense, but there are many others where I just don’t know what’s happening anymore.

I’m aware that the problem lies with my inability to fully yield and relinquish control. Somewhere, somehow, I’m hoping for an easier escape route. But it’s clear to me that the Lord still has plans for me to fulfill where I am, so until that’s over, I need to continue giving my best to these kids, so that I can bring honour to my wonderful God.

I need to kneel.

Pray for me, won’t you?

. . . . .

Song of the Day

Eyes On The Prize, by Sara Groves

It’s written there over in the right column: “I dream up plans that seldom come to fruition.” Y’know what? I want to change that.

Over the years, I’ve dreamt of many things, made many grand plans. Some of them were realised. Others, because they were too unachievable I got lazy, always got shelved. Yet, the same two aspirations continue to pop in and out of my head:

1. Be a journalist/writer

I have wanted to write since I was 14. I did everything within my means to make it a reality. I got my degree in Mass Communication, but decided against majoring in Journalism, choosing breadth over depth. Then, instead of working as a journalist after graduation, I got a job in Events & PR. I thought I’d do it for awhile, gain the experience, then go out to write. Never did I expect it’ll drive me towards teaching – an occupation I was never partial to. A couple of years into teaching, I started thinking I wasn’t meant to write. But last year, when one of my students asked why I wasn’t fulfilling my childhood ambition, all I could mutter was a very faint “I don’t know”. It was then that I realised writing wasn’t off the cards. It just wasn’t the right time. I’ve since told everyone around me (even one of my bosses) that I would be pursuing my writing career next year. And just like back in late 2005 when I made the career switcheroo, I’m completely at peace.

2. Have my own business

We’ve all dreamt of this. But starting a business truly takes A LOT of hard work, which is why many of us don’t even bother to try. Even though my very first feeble attempt hasn’t bore much fruit, I’m still rather proud of the fact that I have tried. Besides, I knew right from the get-go that it wasn’t going to be easy keeping up a business when I already have a hugely demanding day job… So I guess you could say I didn’t exactly have high hopes for it. Yet, I continue dreaming of having my own space, a place where I can make money doing something I’m passionate about. Of the many ideas I’ve had, two have always been extra close to my heart. Today, the cousin and I found a way to integrate both ideas into one quaint little shophouse; with a cafe on the ground floor, and an office on the next level to meet with couples all ready to get hitched. I don’t know anything about the F&B industry (it’s the buddy who’s a lot more passionate about this) nor am I a great cook, but I can plan the heck out of an event. So it just seems apt to have a cafe where private events can be organised by yours truly.

I don’t know which of the two God has in mind for me. Perhaps it’s neither one of them. Perhaps it’s both! Yet amid all this uncertainty, I have found great peace. So I just know I’m in good hands. :)

. . . . .

Song of the Day

Wire, by Third Day

At dinner, my parents and I had a casual conversation about our domestic helper, and how she’s happy with having just rice and one dish for all her meals. Then, mum quipped about how she’s often seen many foreign workers who just buy rice and gravy for their meals.

I immediately thanked the Lord for all the food that was in front of me, ashamed that I had forgotten to say grace, and for whining about having to eat something I didn’t exactly fancy. :( And to think, my biggest “concern” today was wondering if I’ll ever be able to fulfill my ambition of being a writer.

I know for a fact that none of the foreign workers grew up with grand ambitions to work hundreds of miles away from home to do menial labour and be on minimum wage. Yet, they left everything behind and came to a foreign land with faith, faith that their loved ones are being taken care of back home, faith that they will be able to provide for their families.

Y’know, in a way, they are fulfilling dreams. It may not be the easiest of routes, but they are making things better for themselves. And this gives me a lot of hope and courage. Why should I be fearful of change when I have God on my side?

I don’t know what’s going to happen next year after I leave teaching. I have so many options now it almost seems like I don’t have a real focus. But I know to be grateful for even having options, and for the talents that He has bestowed on me. Because whatever happens, my Almighty God has already given me more than I can imagine.

. . . . .

Song of the Day

Who Am I, by Casting Crowns

While the cousin was over at my place yesterday, brainstorming ideas for a wedding invite he’s designing for our friends, he “accidentally” promised that he’ll bake me a cake for my birthday. And not just any cake. A PANTONE CAKE. I’ll have you know that the geek in me is totally geeking out to the idea of this:

Then I faced a real first-world problem. WHAT COLOUR DO I WANT?

I looked at the Pantone chart for at least 5 minutes before realising I could actually have more than one colour! So, I told the cousin that I want 30 cupcakes, all in a different Pantone colour. Kinda like this:

Problem solved.

So yes, Bjorn, thanks for offering to bake me 30 cupcakes for my 30th birthday.

NO PRESSURE AT ALL.

Heheh.

And to think I was dreading turning 30. With such geek-awesome cupcakes and a beach getaway at a luxury resort to celebrate this milestone with my closest friends, I’m now wishing August is just next month. ;)

. . . . .

Song of the Day

Souls A’fire, by Matt Corby