Oh wow, it’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
You’d think I’ve been dead busy at my new job.
I’ve actually just been lazy cos now I have time.
Does that make sense?
Previously, blogging was a channel for release. With all that pent-up emotion left over from work, blogging was cathartic. Now that I no longer experience that same level of stress, I somehow don’t feel a need to constantly want to express myself.
And consequentially, because I feel less burdened by teenage angst, I have less motivation to write, and less opportunities for reflection.
I know this isn’t a mistake. Because this was the job I’d prayed for. I’d wanted a job that would give me more work-life balance, more time to serve in church, and to connect with family and friends. Then when I see how everything has fallen into place, everything immediately gets put into perspective.
It’s not gonna be an easy journey. Change never is. And even though I miss teaching and my colleagues, I have no regrets leaving. I understand now that I’m in a different place, and I have different priorities. God is equipping me with a new set of skills in this new phase of my life.
And I’m all in.
This new job is truly a gift from God.
When I submitted this new phase of my life into God’s hands, I knew it was going to turn out well. But I also had my insecurities. What if I made a mistake? What if I was actually listening to the voices in my own head instead of God’s gentle whisper? Then on the first day of work, I walked into the office and was immediately filled with an overwhelming sense of peace and gratitude. The Lord has led me into this, and once again, He has shown me that His ways are perfect.
And as thought that wasn’t enough, yesterday, a last-minute decision to catch a different bus to church led me straight into the biggest and most gorgeous rainbow I have ever seen. This was not a thin, tiny one in the distance. This one was totally in my face, staring straight at me just so it was clear. And in that moment, I knew He did this for me. He wanted me to see His glory shining brighter that I’d ever seen. I beamed and said a prayer of thanks.
I am grateful.
I don’t start work till January 15. God must have known I had no intentions of being a good steward of all this free time I’m privileged with, so last Sunday, he got a very dear aunt of mine to remind me to take this precious time I have to “chill with God”. It struck such a chord in me that I knew it was the gentle prod that I needed to reassess this gift of time that I’ve been blessed with.
Which explains my lack of blogging here, because I’ve been reflecting here instead.
I’m not spending all day reading the bible and meditating. I do watch A LOT of TV (but of course) in between. But I’m finding a new joy in reading His word and reveling in the silence. I’m enjoying the quiet moments listening to what He has to say to me through devotionals and books that I’m reading. I’m enjoying my time with my parents. I’m enjoying my time just chillin’.
I’ll admit right now that things are probably going to change once I get back to the daily grind. And while I am earnestly praying that I will continue to find time to chill with God, I can’t say with certainty that I wouldn’t falter. Which is why I’ve started the other blog. It’s my slightly feeble attempt to continue my daily reflections and because I’m telling you all now, I feel this “pressure” to be accountable. Let’s hope this works. ;)
In the meantime, I hope you find encouragement from my reflections and take comfort in the fact that I am also struggling along with you.
(image via Tumblr)