Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I wish I could just hide in a corner and make everything go away. I wonder if it’s because the system simply tends to overload, or if it’s because I’m incapable of handling it. And the fact that I used to be an events coordinator, where multi-tasking was at the very core of the occupation, doesn’t help one bit. It gives me the false sense of belief that I, of all people, should be able to handle juggling that many things on my plate. Apparently, that hasn’t quite prepared me for this.
I marvel at those who seem to have it all figured out. People who have more administrative duties, have a family and still manage to stay on top of things. I would love to observe them for a whole day and pick up some of the strategies they’ve employed that has helped them achieve everything. Not surprisingly, the word ‘sacrifice’ immediately comes to mind. But exactly how much have they been sacrificing? Because I know for sure that I’m not willing to sacrifice “me-time”; times such as these where I can reflect, recharge and recuperate after a long day. After all, it’s one of the factors that has kept me sane thus far.
The other factor being God, of course. It’s my dependence on Him that has kept me going, kept me breathing. But even so, I often find myself leaning on my own strength, and asking God to just hang around so He can catch me when I fall. But y’know, I don’t want to make God stand behind me. I want Him right there beside me, holding my hand, carrying me. That’s His rightful place in my life and I want to honour that. I just hope I’ll always remember it.
In the meantime, excuse me while I go scream into my pillow.
