Was trying to see if my old sites/blogs were archived on the Internet Archive Wayback Machine. Well, what do you know? This was written 10 years ago, back when my site was known as “Hedonism”. *rolls eyes*:

18 April 1999

Oh boy… my mum’s 50th birthday is just three days away and I still do NOT know what to get her! My grandma got her this really nice wallet so I can’t get her a wallet! Grr… I can’t get her perfume, ‘cos I don’t have enough money to get her a decent one. Oh geez… what am I supposed to do?? What can I get her? Oh no, oh no, oh no… I have to get her something! I didn’t get her anything last year! Oh boy, this is killing me! I’m feeling so frustrated!

On a happier note, I’ve finally completed the new Hedonism today. Ahh.. I feel a great sense of achivement now… *L* Only last month, did I realise that I have not added a journal entry since *gasp* January! I’m pathetic! If this goes on, I’ll become a procrastinator in no time. Talking about procrastinating, I haven’t even updated my Hanson site since April 3rd! What am I thinking?? I have so much free time and I keep putting things off… I’d better start changing soon.

Anyway, church was good today. The speaker, Dr. Freddie Boey, delivered this really motivating speech, not to mention funny too. ) Oh, and my grandparents left today for their 4-day cruise. They went with 8 other ‘old’ people. My grandpa tells me he’s gonna spend some time with the jackpot machine. Hope he doesn’t overdo it. But I shouldn’t worry too much, grandma will control him. *L* With both my grandparents gone, I can finally watch TV in their room! *evil grin* No more fighting with my dad for the remote control. And I don’t have to go to the living room to watch TV anymore! Heheh… Although it’s just 4 days, it’s more than enough for me. ) What can I say? I’m easily contented! ) Well, gonna watch PO5 now… Later!

Believe it or not, I was cringing the whole time while reading through this post. I’m SO glad I’m older and wiser now. :p

Then the “Red Chook” phase came along… Did you know I wanted to be in advertising?

2 December 2001

anyhow, the school term begins again tomorrow and i’m really looking forward to it. i’ll be learning advertising and media management… i think? i’m not sure. i love advertising. it’s one of my career options actually. however, i don’t know if i’m up to it. i’m not exactly that creative. i guess i’ll just see how it goes. i’ll take one step at a time and try not to think too far ahead. sometimes, over-planning isn’t all that good. right?

Things got emotional when I left for Brisbane:

4 June 2002.

my grandma has been acting all weird ever since friday, when she found out i was definitely going to QUT. this morning, when she found out that my flight has been confirmed for july 1st, she got all quiet. i nearly cried but i forced myself to hold back the tears. i knew she’ll start crying if i started crying and i really can’t bear to see my grandma cry. i’ll get all choked up. and just 5 minutes ago, my grandma came into my room and started crying and telling me how much she’s gonna miss me when i go to brisbane. i couldn’t control it anymore and started crying too. i love my grandma to death and i get weak whenever she cries. damn. i really can’t bear to leave her, and my mum…

Here’s one of the funnier incidents that happened in Brissie, that I’m glad I noted down:

11 February 2003

now, here’s something andrew badly wants me to mention: so, we’ve arrived at the airport and there he was, waiting for us (*cough* mainly huaiky, as we all know) and a certain uncle of mine was there too, to pick us up, as well! (see how loved we are? ) now, steff and i were in this uncle’s car and the other 2 were, we all know where… so, when we got home, this uncle just takes our bag out of the boot and then he happily says goodbye! poor ol andrew was in a state of “shock” cos now he had to lug 3 of our very heavy luggages up the stairs, all alone! hee. oh well, i’m sure my uncle was just giving him a chance to display his strength and sense of gentlemanliness (is there such a word?).

After uni, I came back and worked for a year in the PR & Events industry. This post here occurred during the last leg of my time in the industry (and got myself into teaching):

17 October 2005

i’m now officially jobless.

i did end up working the extra two weeks but it wasn’t too bad cos there wasn’t a whole lot to do, and most of the time, i was just sitting around, doing bits here and there and um, chatting on msn. heheh. i’m definitely gonna miss my kick-ass colleagues, without whom, my dwindling sanity would have long been devoured by the she-predator.

See what I did? I called my ex-boss a “she-predator”! Heh.

As mentioned earlier, I got myself into teaching, and here I’m singing the same song over and over again. Even up till today:

18 April 2006

i still love teaching, in case you were wondering. it’s been awesome. exhaustingly awesome. i’ve devoted so much time to it that i hardly have much time to do anything else but indulge in tv. after such a long day at work battling my composure no thanks to annoyingly-adorable teens, i am simply too decapitated to fathom anything else. thank goodness i enjoy watching tv, huh?

But getting into teaching wasn’t easy. It took me about 3 tries, I believe, before I was confirmed as a teacher. Here was when I finally got my letter of acceptance:

29 November 2006

When I opened my mailbox earlier this evening and saw this big, brown envelope with the words “ON GOVERNMENT SERVICE” stamped in big, bold letters on the top, I knew this was it. This was the exact moment I’ve been waiting for for over a year, ever since I decided to teach. Funny how I always imagined this moment to be a lot more exciting. Not like I’m expecting fanfare or confetti or anything like that — although… how cool would that be? — but I certainly expected to have a much bigger reaction than “oh, finally!”, which was exactly what I said in my head when I saw the envelope.

Ah, good times, Internet. Good times.

It was the simplest of birthday celebrations. There were no concrete plans, except that we’ll be meeting at the newest mall to spring up on our tiny shores. We’d go to a restaurant, have dinner, chat the night away. Only thing was we didn’t quite expect the place to be as packed as it was (how naive of us, really) so we ended up having dinner at a food court (no kidding) and indulged in a greasy plate of ngoh hiang. Yet, it was a time well spent with my best friends in the world, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

When you’ve been friends with these people for as long as I have, and have known each other so well that we can freely talk about anything (and I do mean anything), it’s easy to be satisfied. No attempt at celebrating a birthday can be considered too small or too feeble, because all you really want is to enjoy their company, let loose and laugh. With these girls, their sheer presence automatically allows me to be myself and let all my idiosyncracies emerge without any hesitation, as I know they’ll continue to love and accept me no matter what. It’s the sort of friendship where we are able to openly express our feelings, our annoyance with each other and still walk away knowing that our bond remains as strong as ever.

Each birthday, I thank the Lord for constantly being my guide and for blessing me with the family and friends that I have. This year is no different. And I continue to be amazed at the people He has surrounded me with and the relationships He has helped me foster. In the past, my birthday prayers have always been focused on being happy and content. This year, my birthday prayer is that my God will make me an even better daughter, friend and teacher so that I can be His testimony of the love that He has to offer.

Thank you to everyone who remembered my birthday.

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I wish I could just hide in a corner and make everything go away. I wonder if it’s because the system simply tends to overload, or if it’s because I’m incapable of handling it. And the fact that I used to be an events coordinator, where multi-tasking was at the very core of the occupation, doesn’t help one bit. It gives me the false sense of belief that I, of all people, should be able to handle juggling that many things on my plate. Apparently, that hasn’t quite prepared me for this.

I marvel at those who seem to have it all figured out. People who have more administrative duties, have a family and still manage to stay on top of things. I would love to observe them for a whole day and pick up some of the strategies they’ve employed that has helped them achieve everything. Not surprisingly, the word ’sacrifice’ immediately comes to mind. But exactly how much have they been sacrificing? Because I know for sure that I’m not willing to sacrifice “me-time”; times such as these where I can reflect, recharge and recuperate after a long day. After all, it’s one of the factors that has kept me sane thus far.

The other factor being God, of course. It’s my dependence on Him that has kept me going, kept me breathing. But even so, I often find myself leaning on my own strength, and asking God to just hang around so He can catch me when I fall. But y’know, I don’t want to make God stand behind me. I want Him right there beside me, holding my hand, carrying me. That’s His rightful place in my life and I want to honour that. I just hope I’ll always remember it.

In the meantime, excuse me while I go scream into my pillow.

We celebrated National Day at school yesterday and I must say, I really didn’t expect to enjoy myself as much as I did. I thought I’d be struggling to get my kids enthused; little did I know that they would be more than willing to put aside their pre-conceived notions about the scaled-down classroom celebrations and fully participate in the activities. We had such a wonderful time playing the games, and singing our little hearts out loud to the National Day songs, I think we got a little high. :p

However amid all the laughter, I nearly cried. As I was singing along, it dawned on me that I would probably never experience this with my form class again. I almost broke down right there. In fact, for the past few weeks, whenever I’m teaching these kids, there’d always be moments when I would just look out at them and right there, even though all of them were with me, I’d just be missing them. Call me sappy, but I really do have a crazy huge attachment to this class of mine. Perhaps it’s the “first form class” syndrome but I always think of them as my babies. My darlings. And because we’ve been through so much over the past two years, I really can’t help but hold them dear to my heart.

As much as I would love to have them all come back next year, I know they don’t have the same plans for their lives. Some are content with working immediately after they graduate, some yearn for bigger things, while others are happy to go wherever their results bring them. Whatever happens, I just want all of them to be the best they can be and be proud of their own achievements.

Saying goodbye to them is gonna be so incredibly tough.

When I first got Troy, no one imagined he’d last a few months. Not even myself. One full year on, I’m proud to say the little guy is still swimming his wee little heart out in his spacious (for him, at least) tank. I’m beaming, to say the least. But when I looked back at pictures of Troy when I first got him, I immediately became ashamed of my highly inept pet-owning skills.

Here’s the guy about a month after I got him:

And this is him today:

Rightaway, you’ll notice the discolouration. He’s no longer as vibrant as before, and his fins are all scraggly and less than perfect now. The only consolation I can give myself is that he’s STILL ALIVE. And seeing as Troy is my first real pet, I guess I’m not doing too bad.

So now that I’ve crossed the one-year mark, what’s next? Well, I’m actually thinking of getting another fish! But I’ll have to find a perfect one, one that can get along well with a Betta fish cos I definitely wanna keep Troy around for as long as possible.

Anyone got recommendations?