I was at work 12 hours straight today and was all ready to skip today’s reading… But God doesn’t give excuses, does He? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Day 3: What Drives Your Life?

For the longest time, a large part of my life centred around two things: ambition and acceptance.

Since I was 14, I knew I wanted to study Mass Communications. So for the rest of my scholastic life, I was focused on achieving that goal. Along the way, there were some setbacks, but because I had this ambition, it drove me to persevere. So I got my degree and secured a good job, only to realise less than a year later that it wasn’t right for me. Did I regret it? Heck, no, cos for the longest time, it gave me a purpose. But when I got into teaching, it solidified the fact that God knew better. Much better. It was then that I understood how important it was for God to be the driving force in my life, rather than my own agenda.

The other issue that reinforced this was when I realised that I was promising my loved ones more than I could deliver, disappointing many in the process. Perhaps it’s because I am an only child, so to ensure I’m always loved and not forgotten, I got into the habit of being slightly too accommodating. This was a problem because I was trying to please everyone and when I could not give them my 100%, people became upset. Of course, I eventually realised it is more important to do what God wills. And if I stick to that, I don’t need to worry about anything else.

The model response to all this would be to say that since I am now more aware of my shortcomings, I am focused on submitting my life unto Him and that all my actions are God-honouring. But you and I both know that that’s not entirely accurate. Too many decisions were based entirely on my own desires, and even today, instead of making sure I am God-pleasing, my actions are more people-pleasing.

I really do pray that as I continue to walk with God, I’ll be more conscious and concerned about what God would think, and let His law be the only driving force in my life. After all, I know fully well that when God is for me, no one can be against me. So seriously? It’s time for me to get my focus right.